


No Names

by DiYunho



Category: DCU, DCU (Comics), Joker - Fandom, Suicide Squad (2016), The Joker - Fandom, The Joker dcu - Fandom, The Joker suicide squad - Fandom, joker DCU
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Humor, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Tragedy, Comfort/Angst, Daughters, Established Relationship, F/M, Family, Family Bonding, Family Drama, Family Dynamics, Family Feels, Family Issues, Family Secrets, Father-Daughter Relationship, Feelings, Feelings Realization, Feels, Fluff and Angst, Heavy Angst, Illnesses, Implied Relationships, Joker - Freeform, Joker dcu - Freeform, Light Angst, Love, Love/Hate, Relationship(s), Suicide Squad, Terminal Illnesses, The Joker - Freeform, The Joker Jared Leto, The Joker Suicide Squad, The Joker fanfiction, The Joker imagine, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-25
Updated: 2018-08-25
Packaged: 2019-07-02 06:19:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15790719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DiYunho/pseuds/DiYunho
Summary: When The Joker told you he found somebody else, your world shattered to pieces. But what hurt the most was the fact that he didn’t even bother to come around and see his little girls; very hard to find excuses on why their father is missing, especially when the triplets adore him. And extremely hard to cope with the gloomy future after you found out some details that might explain his estrangement.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> You can also follow me on Tumblr and Wattpad under the same blog name: DiYunho.

At the present moment, the four year old triplets (Emma, Mia and Evie) are fighting about who should sit in daddy’s lap. There’s some fake crying, some pushing around followed by a tantrum and J finally gives in and lifts them up one at a time so they can all sit on his knees. Very crowded and hardly any space for everybody, but somehow it works.

“Are you good now?” he asks, trying to reach over so he can type on his laptop. They all giggle and then the bickering starts again. 

“Daddy’s mine,” Emma pulls The Joker’s face towards her and kisses his pale cheek.

“No-oo-o,” Mia whimpers upset about it.“Daddy’s mine!” and she yanks his head and gives him a kiss.

Evie almost has a fit:

“He’s mine! I’m going to marry him!”

The Joker snorts as the girls argue in his lap. You never intervene when stuff like this is going on because you believe he needs it: doesn’t hurt to be reminded you’re human from time to time. And that includes the King of Gotham.

“I really have to send an e-mail, OK? Behave, brats !”

“No, I want to marry daddy!”

“No, me!!” and the fight continues regardless J’s request. He sighs and interrupts:

“Be quiet, girls! Stop moving around !”

Yeah…no.

“Hey, what did I just say? There’s plenty to go around for everybody, even if mommy gets the best part,” and you get winked at.

You stop your current task, which is opening a bunch of boxes with new clothes for your daughters and give him the look.

He starts laughing.

“Yeah, your mom knows what I’m talking about; she’s so lucky!”

“Right…” you mutter to yourself.

“I want to play with daddy’s hair,” Mia whines, attempting to touch the green locks. The others follow:

“Me too!”

“Me too, daddy!”

“I don’t have time little Dolls,” he huffs and gets ready to remove them from his lap.

Crying begins – the spoiled kids type; he spoils them rotten and you do too. Guilty as charged.

“Fine, fine, you win!” The Joker gives them the satisfaction and the girls are now on the floor around their father, caressing his hair and fighting about which one of them should get more to play with. He just sits there in between them, huge grin on his face. 

Mia pecks his temple.

“Ahh, thank you Evie,” J sighs, very pleased with his current situation.

“I’m Mia, daddy,” she corrects him.

“No you’re not,” he teases more.

“I’m Evie, daddy,” the other little girl snickers.

“Nahh, you’re Emma, don’t lie to me.”

“No, I’m Emma, daddy,” the third one points.

“Nope, no way!” and the little ones start talking in the same time, trying to explain to their father which one is which.

“Are you sure?” he frowns, pretending to debate.

“U-hum,” they nod, lined up in front of him.

“Well, if you say so, I guess you know better…”

They jump around, excited The Joker finally got it and he wants to get up.

“Y/N, come help me up,” he signals you and you go over.

“What is it, old man? Can’t do it on your own?” you smile, aiding him.

“Hilarious, Kitten, you should do stand-up comedy,” he mumbles, suddenly sour.

“I should, I’m pretty funny. Something wrong?” you check, noticing the painful grimace on his face.

“It’s nothing; my back hurts again. These kids are wearing me out!” he blames it on the 3 small Princesses at his feet.

“It’s their job, baby,” and he gets a kiss from the Queen herself.

“Behave, woman!” he growls in your ear. “I have to go and you’re distracting me.”

“Hey, wanna make an appointment for a back massage tonight?” you offer, eager for some time alone with him.

“I can’t…I have so many things to plan and transactions on the black market to attend to.” There is definitely something going on behind those blue eyes you can’t quite pinpoint.

“Again?!…I want you to sleep here, you’re away too much. Stuff can wait, ok? Plus, I can help.”

“It’s fine, my Queen needs to rest,” J makes up this lame excuse again and heads towards the elevator with the girls following him.

“Daddy, up!” they whine since he’s not paying attention to them anymore.

“I can’t lift you up, Dolls. I’m busy, go play!” he sends them back to you and they pout but obey.

*****************

It’s very late and The Joker didn’t come home. You still keep on waiting, hoping he is going to show up. You smile in the darkness when you remember the first time you showed him the ultrasound picture with the triplets. J stood there still, holding it in his hands, staring with his mouth open.

“Oh my God!”

That’s all he said.

“Ummm, oh my God as in oh my God yes or as in oh, no ?” you asked, intrigued.

He didn’t even hear you.

“I’m so awesome!!!” he blurred out, snorting. “I’m more than incredible ! Three in one strike! Ha!”

“I think I have my share at this since I participated in the project,” you protested, annoyed.

“Shut up, Y/N, this is obviously me,” and he seemed so mesmerized and thrilled you actually let him win. “I have some serious skills,” J smirked, arrogant to a fault and you rolled your eyes so badly they almost fell off the back of your head.

And the things he would say when you got so big since you had three little beings growing inside of you.

“Damn, Pumpkin, you can audition for Godzilla’s part in the next movie!”

“You – you are the rudest person ever!” you got so mad but he didn’t stop.

“Well, maybe not Godzilla, I don’t want to exaggerate. I think you could get the part of a whale!”

You glared at him, pissed because you were fed up with his mocking. The Joker enjoyed teasing you more than anything. Such an easy prey due to your…condition. Just one look down at your bump and:

“I – I’m huge!” you started crying up a storm, hormonal and emotional since you were super pregnant, tired and cranky.

“Awwww, com’ere,” The Joker would try to fix it and made this strenuous sounds when you sat in his lap. “Jesus, woman, don’t break my legs!”

“You’re horrible, I hate you!” and you would wipe your eyes and your nose with your sleeve, not giving a crap. Too uncomfortable to care.

“Ewwww, Kitten, are you gonna change your shirt?!” J couldn’t help it; he had to taunt more.

“No, I don’t want to,” you would sniffle, not looking at him.

“That’s fine; you sure are a sight for sore eyes,” and he kissed you to make it better. “So sexy…for a whale,” he has to keep going, considering it his sacred duty to ridicule his Queen.

“I really hate you,” you complained, exasperated.

“Thank you, Doll,” and that silver grin got wider.

Once, he found you having a nervous breakdown at the hideout near The Bridge of Angels.

“What’s wrong, hm?” J cautiously approached, wondering what the new crisis is about.

“I was trying to load guns… “ and you took such a deep breath, not being able to stop bawling, “…and I dropped a box of bullets,” you show him the ammo on the floor, scattered all over the place. “I can’t even bend to pick them up,” and tears kept on rolling down your cheeks.

“That’s soooo sad, Pumpkin,” and he took your hands in his, kissing each finger. “These sausage fingers, so chubby and puffy, of course they can’t do anything.”

“You suck,” and kicked his ankle, but calmed down a bit.

“Thank you, Doll,” that satisfied smile lingered on his lips as he was finishing what he started.

When the girls were almost two years old, The Joker ended up at Arkham and took a while to bring him back. He was so out of it from meds and electroshock therapy that barely had the strength to crawl on the couch in the living room and passed out. Didn’t even go to see his daughters.

Evie was the one that heard the noises and woke up, came to see what’s going on and that pure joy on her face when she saw J made your heart skip a beat. You told the little one to be quiet and placed her on his chest; she fell back asleep right away. You brought the other two sleepy heads and placed them on the sides of his body. He sensed the movements through his restless dreams and squeezed his arms around them, suddenly more at ease.

He knew he was home.

**************

You didn’t see him in a month. The Joker said he’s out of town with business and that was all. He responded to your texts and phone calls, but in a very short manner. Something is definitely not right. You just know it.

For the moment you are in the basement, watching him stash a few guns in a suitcase. You’re so upset you can’t think straight. The kids are not at the penthouse and J doesn’t want to wait for them to come back from the playground so he can see them.

“Where are you going, baby?” he gets questioned and that pisses him off.

“I have urgent matters to attend to, ok?! You know our lifestyle, I don’t have to explain it to you !!”

“Does this…urgent matter…have a name?” you whisper and he stops, giving you an evil gaze.

“You wanna do this NOW?”

“What… what exactly are we doing?” you panic, not sure what is going on.

“Of course she has a name, are you completely stupid ?! Didn’t you notice how much I have to pretend around you and YOUR noisy girls? I thought you were smarter than this!!!” the tirade begins and you are not prepared for it. “I am so tired of you, you bore me to death, can’t you see ?! Why do you think I keep on avoiding you, huh? I need someone younger, prettier and energetic to keep up with me!!!” he dramatically gestures, burning you with his blue eyes. “You’re none of these; not anymore !!!” J takes the suitcase and storms out, bumping into you as he passes by.

You gulp, stunned at all the hurtful words:

“What?…”

“Don’t be pathetic and take the hint, Y/N!” the barks at you before disappearing up the staircase.

“I’m gonna kill you!” you yell after him, shaking from the tension. “And her too!!”

“Don’t make me come down there again or YOUR kids will be orphans!!” The Joker shouts and you hear the basement’s door being slammed so loud it makes you jump.

*************

You detest calling him. You do it for your children; they won’t stop asking about The Joker. What hurts the most is the fact that he doesn’t even bother to visit his little girls; very hard to find excuses on why their father is not present, especially when the triplets adore him.

They miss him badly and you telling them he’s on vacation all the time doesn’t help. It breaks your heart when they start crying:

“I miss my daddy,” Emma squeezes your arm and you wipe the tears, so upset it’s hard not to cry yourself.

“Me too,” Evie slides her head in your lap, whimpering.

“I want my daddy,” Mia weeps and you hold them close to you in the big, empty bed.

“He’s coming, honey,” and you kiss their foreheads. “He is on a vacation and he’s coming back soon, alright?”

“When, mommy?” the little voices insist.

“Soon, very soon,” you sigh, fighting to maintain a fake smile on your lips.

After they fall asleep, you carefully get out of bed and go on the balcony, calling again.

“What do you want?” J snaps as soon as he picks up.

“Are you going to come see your daughters? It’s been three months! I don’t know what to do anymore; they really miss you. Would you please come? Just for a little bit?” you beg, irritated you have to bargain for something you shouldn’t have to.

“I’m busy! I’ll try but I can’t promise anything.”

“Are you ready Mister J?” you hear the woman’s voice in the background and you drop the phone, startled. The screen cracks but you can still hear him:

“Yeah, coming! Hold on, she’s bothering me again!”

You bite on your cheek and grab the cell, tossing it over the edge of the terrace. You didn’t want to hear that.

***************

The home phone going off at 2am wakes you up abruptly. You answer as fast as you can, not wanting to wake up the little ones.

“Yes, Frost?” you mumble, tired, wondering what he wants.

“Hi, Y/N. I need to talk to you about Mister J,” Jonny begins and you won’t have any of it.

“Is he coming to see his kids?”

“I don’t know, but…”

“Then I don’t care!!” you raise your voice without realizing.

“Mommy…” Emma complains, turning towards you and you just hang up.

The phone rings again. 

“Stop calling, Frost!”

“I need to talk ab…”

You hang up and place the phone under all the extra pillows at the side of the bed. You feel it vibrating and ignore it.

After about an hour you hear the elevator going up at the penthouse.

Serioulsy?!

When the elevator’s doors open, Jonny Frost finds a very displeased Y/N in front of him, arms crossed on your chest.

“Can I help you?!” you sulk, vexed he has the nerve to actually come uninvited in the middle of the night. 

“I know you don’t want me here, but I really need to talk to you,” and he steps inside the living room, decided not to drop it.

“Is it about J?”

“Yes, I told you…”

“I don’t care! The only news that would make me happy is him coming to see our daughters. That’s it. Is he coming?”

“I’m not sure wh…”

“Then get the fuck out of my house!” you push Jonny, bitter and resentful. “Go serve his every need and that bitch he’s with. GO!!!”

Frost is a strong man; makes it hard for you to move him if he doesn’t want to be moved.

“There is no woman,” he utters, keeping his composure.

“Did he put you up to this?! Get out!”

At this point you are so mad you can’t listen to anything anymore.

“I’m not leaving. I need to talk to you. Y/N…” Frost gets in your face, still calm. “There is no woman. You know me; would I lie to you?”

***************

8:45am

You sneak inside the hideout, not having a clue on how you are going to handle the situation. I guess you’ll have to improvise as you go.

The Joker is coming out of the kitchen in a pair of shorts and halts when he sees you. Not a pleasant surprise, that’s for sure. He breaks the silence:

“What are you doing here?”

You don’t reply; you just analyze him and conclude it doesn’t seem good at all.

“Did…did that asshole ran his mouth?” J tilts his head to the left, grinding his teeth. That’s the only explanation he can think of and it makes him angry.

You ignore his inquiry and have a question of your own, even if you already know the answer:

“What are those?” you refer to the bruise-like spots on his skin; you can see them on his chest, a few on his arms and legs.

“Go away, Y/N. Go home to the girls!” he rushes you, wanting to get rid of your presence as fast as possible.

You nod a no and step towards him.

“It’s contagious, stay away!” The Joker snarls, backing out.

“No it’s not,” and you get closer.

“Are you ready, Mister J?” the woman’s voice coming from kitchen alerts of a third person in the warehouse.

“Is that your girlfriend?” you give him the look as you slip by his body and finally see her: probably in her mid 50’s, holding a syringe. Her eyes get big when she realizes you’re there. “Younger and prettier, hm?” you address The Joker and he’s silent, aware you already know what’s going on.

“Give me that!” you gesture towards the syringe and she hesitates:

“Mister J…”

“I said give me that!!!!” you yell, yanking it from her hand. “This is my job, not yours! Get out! “

She looks at him and J signals it’s ok. The woman complies and walks away, leaving you two alone. You lick your lips and The Joker comes closer, taking a sit on a chair nearby.

“Well, since it’s your job…” he extends his arm and waits. You go in front of him, struggling to be tough.

“Tell me where…,” you sniffle and his finger shows you the spot on the shoulder.

“This is so awkward, Kitten,” he slowly blinks, grabbing your shaky hand. “I can do it.”

“No, I will, “ and the needle finds its way into the skin, slowly releasing the medicine. “I hate you!” you burst into tears as soon as you’re finished.

He knows why; no explanation needed.

“I hate everybody too, so I understand,” he pretends to be sympathetic.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” and you look so devastated J can’t make a stupid joke about it.

“You and the girls have to get used with me not being around,” he admits to the truth.

“How – how bad is it?” you stutter, wishing you could really hate him.

“Pretty bad, it’s spreading fast.”

You cry harder.

“All this stuff you have around, is it helping any?”

“Somewhat, I guess… I’m still breathing for the moment.”

The fool doesn’t even notice how unbearable it is for you to hear such things. You straddle his lap and hug him tight, sobbing.

“You’re not dying; you’re gonna live forever,” you manage to articulate.

“God help Gotham then, hm?” The Joker holds you so firmly it hurts but you don’t feel the ache. “You should go home to OUR girls. This is making me very sick; I don’t want you here. I don’t want you around it. Shit, I don’t want to be around it, but I have no choice.”

“I want to be around it,” you wipe your face with the sleeve of your shirt and he really needs to point out:

“Ewww, Princess, are you gonna change your shirt?”

“No, I don’t want to,” and you kiss him, too desperate to smile at the silly memory.

*****************

The medication has such nasty side effects: gives him something similar to seizures and a lot of nausea. Even if he swallowed pills to help with that, it took a while to kick in. The back pain was so strong you couldn’t move him afterwards. He remained on the bathroom floor, curled up in ball, resting his head in your lap, drained. You used towels to cover him up and he dozed off, exhausted even if it’s only 9:59am.

You text Frost to ask for a favor:

“Please bring the kids.”

** The girls enter the bathroom and gasp when they see their father.

“Daadddy!!!!” they all exclaim, running and dropping on their knees by him, happy like you never seen them before.

“Ssstttt,” you bring your finger to your lips. “Please be quiet, daddy’s not well; he needs to sleep, OK?”

“Ok, mommy,” Emma bends over to peck his cheek and the other siblings do the same.

“Is daddy back from vacation?” Evie excitedly stares at her father, not being able to take her eyes off him.

“Yes, honey, he is,” and they are so excited they get up and run out, fastly returning with blankets and pillows. They stash them around you two, cuddling on the pile of fluffy covers, all eager to touch The Joker. They hold his fingers and he wants to open his eyes but can’t. 

His clouded mind has the strength to recall that he hates everyone, except the annoying Godzilla he can’t stand and three little Dolls. No names because it’s a well-guarded secret.

J gently squeezes their fingers in his sleep, growling. 

He knows he’s home.


	2. Chapter 2

The door opens and you turn around, sniffling.

“There you are,” J closes and locks the door behind him. “What’s wrong?” he asks when he realizes you’re sobbing.

You rush in his arms and hug him.

“Don’t cry, alright? Save it for when I’m gone,” he caresses your hair and turns off the light in the office. You dig your fingers in his skin, having another crappy day yourself.

“You–you’re going to live forever…” you muster the strength to say it.

“True,” J sighs. “I mean, if I was Death I wouldn’t fuck around with Godzilla.Things could get messy really fast, right?”

You punch his abs and smile through tears.

“Stop calling me Godzilla!”

“Never!” he grins in the darkness, pleased he can tease you with that…again.

“Where are the girls?” you ask, wanting to step away.

“They’re asleep, let them be. What are you wearing?” The Joker whispers in your ear, his hands feeling you up and down.

“Sweatpants and a tank top,” you snort, wiping your tears.

“Mmmm, my favorites…so sexy!” he chuckles and tries to lift you up but you refuse.

“Don’t do that, your back will kill you afterwards.”

“Nah, it’s been a pretty good day; even took a muscle relaxant, just in case.” J pulls you in a tight embrace. “I think you’re in luck today, Princess.”

“Hm?” you trace his cheekbones, hoping he means what you think he means.

“That’s why I was looking for you,” he snickers and you wrap your arms around his neck, excited.

“Are you sure, baby? It’s been a while.”

“Well,” J grumbles, “with my current health condition, I’m out of commission quite a lot. Not by choice, of course. Most of the time I feel very sick and…”

“I know,” you interrupt,” I swear I don’t care. I want you to get better and then…”

“That won’t happen so we have to deal with it, OK?” he cuts you off. “It’s so embarrassing not to be able to have you anytime I want though,” he gulps, admitting to the inconvenient truth.

“No, it’s not.”

“Yes, Pumpkin, but my pride…”

“Your pride is fine,” you kiss him and he purrs, fired up. The Joker actually attempts to lift you up again but instead you push him towards the huge sofa in the room, slowly taking his shirt off. You give him a soft nudge and he lands on the pillows with you on top of him. Your long hair falls around his head, just like a curtain.

“Seriously, Y/N, I could’ve picked you up; you know I like to do that,” he gropes your butt as you get up a bit in order to take your tank top off.

“No way, I don’t want you to jinx it and hurt your back. I know what you like so enjoy,” you moan when his lips find yours.

“Auch!” The Joker complains when you bite his soft skin. “That’s gonna leave a mark on my neck you naughty girl!” he laughs, panting. “Do it again!”

“Your wish is my command,” you eagerly help him get rid of your sweatpants.

****************

Bad morning for your boyfriend. After you injected his weekly medication and he swallowed the tables too, the side effects settled in.

“Your nurses are here,” you announce, hoping your little surprise will give him a boost of energy.

The triples enter the master bedroom holding hands and J emerges from under the covers and smiles when he sees how cute they are: you braided their hair with neon green hair extensions and they all wear sparkly jeans plus pink t-shirts embroidered with “Daddy’s Number One.” J gets on his elbow to gaze at the high heels they struggle to walk in: the little ones borrowed some of your sandals.

“Awww, so cool to have adorable Pumpkins tending to me,” he struggles to appear cheerful in front of the girls.

“Are you sick daddy?” Mia inquires because you always tell the kids to keep it down when they play since their father is not well. 

“Nope, I’m good,” he gestures for them to get up in bed and you aid the four year old nurses reach their patient.

“Your caregivers will give you a massage,” the explanation follows and J turns face down, the little hands starting to rub his back soon after. You crawl by his side, watching them giggle and being happy about playing with their dad. You’re overwhelmed with the view, that’s why you lean over to kiss his shoulder. Your daughters are fast to imitate you, then they return to their task.

Emma stops for a few moments and brings her face close to J’s, whispering:

“Who’s your favorite daddy?”

He laughs and points towards her:

“You are.”

Evie and Mia are on the verge of crying, that’s why he adds:

“And you, and you. I can’t choose: all three look the same.”

Oh, the nurses are thrilled to hear they are daddy’s favorites; there is some pushing around – fighting starts about who should get more to massage.

“Hey, hey!” you separate the feisty girls. “Enough, play nice!” you admonish, aware J hates it when they get noisy.

“You don’t play nice, Doll,” The Joker touches the fresh hickeys and bites he got last night. “Why should they, huh?… At least you don’t seem any better.”

Correct, you don’t. Ahhh, he’s so satisfied with that accomplishment.

You ignore the remark and roll out of bed.

“I’m going upstairs to update your meds, alright? I’ll leave you in the capable hands of your caregivers.”

“That sounds good,” he stretches, enjoying being pampered.

****************

After about 45 minutes, you are almost done selecting the old pills, injectables and lidocaine patches and replacing them with new remedies. As soon as there is something better available on the black market, The Joker is the first one to try it. He also has the best doctors at his disposal, yet nothing seems to improve the illness. From time to time you take a peek at his recent blood test results: nothing is within normal range. It makes you feel so hopeless and helpless.

“Moommmy,” Evie whines as the girls enter the room and you can tell they are pouting, upset about something.

“Yes, honey?” you stash the papers away in the folder.

“Daddy doesn’t want to wake up,” Mia puckers her lips.

“Shit!” you jump from your sit in a frenzy, grabbing a prefilled syringe from the pile of meds on the table. “Go play, I’ll wake up daddy, alright?” you hurry them out of the room.

You don’t even know when you ended up downstairs in the master bedroom, attempting to awaken The Joker.

“Baby, wake up!” you soflly slap his cheek and there is no reaction. “J, open your eyes!” He doesn’t move. You are quick to administer the shot in his vein; not too much left to do but wait now.

This happened before; the doctors described it as losing consciousness in your sleep: if action is not taken immediately, it may result into a coma. The prefilled syringes are a concoction of adrenaline and a bunch of other things you can’t even pronounce.

You lay by him and place your head on his chest, listening to the heartbeat. You are so in love with this sound and you don’t know what you’re going to do when it ends. Just the idea makes you panic.

After about 3 minutes, J is snapping out of his daze. You keep on stroking his face, grateful the medication didn’t fail.

“How are you feeling?” you rest your forehead on his, distressed.

“Meh, not very groovy,” the Prince of Crime confesses, a bit more alert.

“It will get better, just a few more minutes,” you cuddle by him and he groans in pain.“Tell you what: I’ll send the girls to the playground with some of our men and we can spend some time in the jacuzzi. What do you think?”

“I’m not in the mood, Kitten…” J growls, uncomfortable and bitter.

You intend to skip his behavior and proceed with your mission regardless.

**************

You gently push him in the bathroom, impatient to relax.

“Is this what you wanted to show me?!” your boyfriend grumbles, bothered by the plan.

“Yes, the hot tub awaits,” you guide him towards the Jacuzzi and he lets go of your hand.

“I can’t do this nonsense; I’m going back to bed. What’s the point anyway?” The Joker snarls, aggravated.

You go around him and position yourself in front of the exit, blocking the way out.

“The point is, J…” and you pause for a second, glaring at the ceiling,”…that I didn’t really sleep in weeks. I’m absolutely exhausted; can you understand that?” and you sense an imminent meltdown approaching. “Do you know what I do at night?”

He lifts his shoulders up, indifferent to your rant.

“I turn on the lamp on my side and I count all the spots on your skin that I can see. I lose counting and I restart, afraid there are more than the previous days. I count again…and again…,” you flair your arms around, sniffling. ”And every 2 hours or so I check to see if you’re responsive. You get mad and urge me to stop wiggling, but that’s not what I’m doing: I am actually making sure you don’t slip into a coma… I’m so tired,” you whimper. “Can you please get in the hot tub? Preferably without fighting me about it?”

The King of Gotham hates it when you say disarming stuff like this; it makes him feel so strange and he doesn’t like it.

“You’re so irritating…” he shakes his head, undressing. Afterwards, J comes over and takes your summer gown off, then your undies. You don’t make a sound. “Go in, I’ll bring drinks,” he offers and you comply.

J comes back with a can of grape juice for himself and a glass of whiskey for you.

“Here, it appears you need a strong refreshment,” he hands you over the beverage, sitting by you amidst the bubbles and steam. You still don’t reply and sip on the alcohol, discouraged. He restarts his lecture:

“You don’t have to stay up all night guarding me. If it happens, it happens…”

You bite on your lip, drinking more.

“I told you before you have to be prepared,” J sort of mutters. You finish the rest of the whiskey, placing the empty glass by the burning candles on the rail.

“Be prepared?! How the hell can I be prepared for that, hm? Am I just supposed to wait around for my partner to die?!” you hiss at him, not understanding why in the world you’re so dizzy. He wants to answer with a hash comment but you go on:

“I don’t want you to die, OK? “ and your voice breaks. “I watch you getting thinner and your condition worsening…It’s harder and harder to keep everything together… I’ll never be prepared to lose you so stop acting like you know it all!”

“I don’t like your tone, Princess!”

“I don’t care,” you choke on your words, groggy from the strong alcohol. “God, I’m so worn out,” and your eyelids are getting heavier.

“Wanna take a nap?” his voice suddenly softens.

“Nooo, I can’t afford to. The girls will be back soon and…”

“The kids are fine. I’ll watch them,” J offers and you have a hard time concentrating.

“We’ll stay in here for another 20 minutes, then you’re free. Sorry it was such a hustle,” you yawn, rubbing your eyes, miserable and heartbroken.

The Joker is silent until you feel you’re going to pass out in the jacuzzi.

“Jesus, I need to lie down,” you huff and he helps you out, wrapping your body in a fluffy robe. He gets inside one also while you stumble, having a hard time maintaining your balance. “Wow, I think I had too much to drink,” you talk to yourself and he catches up with you, lifting you in his arms before you can protest. “Put me down, your back will hurt!” you beg and want to escape but his grip is strong.

“So?” J kisses your forehead and the weakened state you’re in adds to the sorrow.

“Don’t leave me, please don’t leave me,” and you start crying on his chest, feverish and out of it, not being able to think straight. Your cheeks are so red and you look so lost that The Joker finds it impossible to leave your side once he places you in bed. He holds you tight, watching you fall asleep, still agitated and worried with all the problems clawing at your restless mind.

You have no idea that he crushed two of his sleeping pills and put them in your whiskey after you told him you’re exhausted. Now J is the one awake, protecting you and your troubled dreams. It’s the most a man like him can do: when you struggle with your own demons, letting someone in might feel like vulnerability. But damn, he doesn’t even care and despite the fact that he hates everyone, there’s still that secret list with a few people he actually likes: the obnoxious Godzilla and three little Pumpkins with no names.

**************

“Tonight I’m going to meet with Jax and get your new medication. Do you want to come?” you raise your voice to cover the girls’ screams: they are chasing each other in the living room.

“Yes, I’m coming. Dolls, calm down!” he warns, being a foul mood: the blood tests came back bad again. And you’ve been fighting a lot lately: his attitude worsened and his patience diminished even more as you scramble to hold it together. The fact you don’t feel too well yourself doesn’t help the situation.

You cram a lot of hundred dollar bills in a suitcase as payment for the drugs while the commotion intensifies.

“I want to…Girls!” The Joker yells and your daughters laugh louder and scream up a storm, staggering around the furniture.

“Huh?” you try to pay attention since you didn’t comprehend what he said.

“Quiet!!” he shouts without success.

“That’s enough,” you tell them also since you notice The Joker is annoyed.

They don’t listen and he snaps:

“Can you SHUT. IT .DOWN ?! Are you all deaf, can’t you hear me ?! ” he lashes out and the triples stop, frightened at how menacing he suddenly is. “ You can’t even die in peace in this house!!! Always so much noise!! Don’t I deserve to die in peace, alone and without being bothered???!!!”

You’re stunned at the harsh words and the girls gather around you, clinging to your dress and shoving themselves into you, scared.

J is taking deep breaths, passing his fingers through his green hair, pissed at the disobedience. You really don’t need this on top of everything else. You take the car keys from the coffee table near you, struggling to make the girls get in the elevator since they are rather terrified at their father’s outburst.

“We’re going to the beach girls,” you sadly smile at them, holding the small bodies close to yours. Usually there would be a bunch of jumping around and excitement at the news, but not today.

Before the elevator’s doors close, The Joker hears one more sentence from a very upset girlfriend:

“You do deserve to die alone.”

*************

It’s so difficult for J to drive on his own to the beach house. He has to pull over a few times since the splitting headache and vertigo prevent him from focusing. After taking some tablets to help out with the discomfort, he’s able to get to his destination. The first thing he does is rush inside the bathroom by the entrance, wanting to wash his face with cold water: he feels so warm.

As he wipes his face by the sink, his eyes wonder on the top shelf of the cabinet and his hands drop the towel: four different pregnancy tests, all positive. You probably wanted to make sure.

“Shit…”, he mutters, grinding his teeth. He keeps on staring at them, fidgeting with his jacket. 

“Hey, sweethearts!” The Joker hears you sliding the glass door that faces the beach.“Are you hungry?”

The little voices answer, but he can’t distinguish what. Too windy out there.

“Ok then, I’m coming back out, let me know when you want to eat,” and you exit the house again in order to return to your cozy lounging chair on the terrace, watching the girls building a sand castle a few feet away.

You see his shadow approaching and you curl up, bringing your knees to your chin, ignoring his presence.

“Very quiet at the penthouse, I got bored after 10 minutes,” he sighs and you gaze at the girls that are so caught up in their project that they didn’t detect their father yet.“How many men should we take with us tonight?” J chitchats, yet his effort is neglected. “Do you still want to go and get my medication or should I go alone?”

Since you disregard his questions, he has to resort to the last ace in his sleeve.

“I don’t want to die alone, Princess; I rather have someone irritate me until the last moment. You and the three brats seem to be experts in that. Or is it…four brats?…” he hints towards the little finding in the bathroom.

Silence…

Evie is the first one to notice her father.

“Daddy’s here,” she makes the other siblings aware of The Joker’s whereabouts. They stop their play date and cautiously approach when he signals them to come closer.

Emma squeezes Mia’s hand, halting a few times before being dragged in front of her dad. The triplets look at you, not knowing what to do.

“Why are you crying, mommy?” Evie frowns and J distracts them:

“Who wants to sit in my lap, hm?”

“Me…” the shy answer comes from Emma.

“Me too…” Mia follows, pulling on her ponytail; she does that when she’s nervous.

“Daddy’s mine,” Emma whispers, insecure for once.

“No, he’s not!” she gets pushed out of the way by Evie. “He’s mine!”

“No-ooo!!!” Mia bickers. “Daddy’s only mine!”

“Com’ere!” J puts an end to the fight, lifting all them up on his knees. So hard to fit all three but he succeeds.

You watch them without saying a word, wiping your tears from time to time. He sure has a unique way of apologizing, but you are certain that’s what he means by showing up here when it’s clear he doesn’t feel good.

*************

“You came alone?” Jax lifts his head up from the suitcase you brought him, reckoning the money’s all there. 

“Is that the medication?” you reply with another question, eyeballing the box on the desk.

“Yes, it is. A year’s supply: an injection every six months. Gossip is it works pretty well; VanCriss Laboratories does a lot of researches in the domain. Hopefully it will work for Mister Joker. How is he?”

“He’s ok,” you cut him short, reaching your hand to take the box .The smuggler has a proposition:

“I can get more of this stuff… for the right payment,” he grins, admiring how pretty you are in the red dress. It’s J’s favorite and you are wearing it because he’s taking you on a date afterwards.

“Money is not an issue. Name your price.”

“Oh, honey, I wasn’t thinking about money,” he winks and you snicker. “Not to be disrespectful, but with Mister Joker being ill, I’m sure he can’t take care of your needs anymore. Such a beautiful woman with nobody to satisfy her.”

You start laughing and hop on the desk, sliding towards him.

“Are you forgetting who I am?” you playfully kick his knee with the tip of your black stilettos.

“Not at all. I’m just offering my services,” Jax smirks, caressing your ankles.

“So nice of you, darling, I’m flattered,” the prompt reply makes him full of hope. “But there is only one issue…” and your glossy lips come very close to his. “A Queen only shares the bed with her King,” and you kiss his cheek, amused.

“I’m sorry, am I interrupting?” The Joker knocks with his gun at the cracked door.

Jax frizzes.

“M-Mister J, I didn’t know you came…” the smuggler stutters, suddenly startled.

Your boyfriend creeps inside, his blue eyes darkened by the dim light:

“Say, Jax, does Y/N look like a prostitute to you?”

“W-what?…”

“You just asked her to fuck you. Does she look like a prostitute to you?” J repeats, his fingers tightening on the pistol.

“No, no sir, not at all. I swear I didn’t…”

“Hey, boys!” J shouts, halting Jax’s clumsy atonement. “Does my woman look like a hooker?”

So many voices answering back from outside the room:

“No, sir!”

“No Mister J!”

“No, boss!”

You brought about 25 henchmen with you; they’ve been quietly waiting out there since you got in.

“It’s unanimous: she doesn’t look like a whore,” J cracks his neck, the feeble lighting making him so eerie since he’s skinnier and even more pale than usual.

Jax is freaking out and holds his breath.

“Apparently I’ve been laying low for too long: Gotham seems to have forgotten it belongs to me. My subjects,” he emphasizes, “have the nerve to shamelessly insult me and my girl. I don’t take kindly to such affront!” The Joker signals and you jump off the desk, going by his side.

“Mister Joker, you can take the meds and the money back too,” the idiot tries to fix his huge mistake.

“Oh, trust me: I am, “ J barks, “ even if I don’t need the stupid drugs.”

Jax seems confused.

“Didn’t you hear the rumor?” The Prince of Crime yanks at your waist, purring. “I’m going to live forever. Now, if you would excuse me, I have a date,” he places back the gun in his holster and the smuggler exhales, relieved.

You two pass by your men and head out not before J orders:

“You know what to do. Don’t clean the mess, we’re sending out a message!”

*****************

He speeds up towards the club on Savros Street that will be closed all night. It’s opened just for you and The Joker.

“Pumpkin, what do you want to drink?” he takes your left hand and kisses your silver painted nails while you enjoy the breeze coming from the rolled down windows. 

“I guess I’m stuck with juice, I can’t have any alcohol,” you close your eyes, keeping your other hand on your tummy.

“Yeah, me neither, so we’ll have to manage,” J kisses the tip of your fingers one more time before letting go. “Take a nap; I’ll wake you up when we get there.”

“U-hum,” you get comfortable on your side, excited you are out and about with him.

J continues to drive, only one thing in his mind for the moment: that list of his… with nameless people he likes will have to expand soon. Such a small list, very few people…

But there is always space for one more.


	3. Chapter 3

“Mommy’s going to have another baby,” Evie whispers in Frost’s ear. He’s on the couch, waiting to drive all of you to the beach house.

“Really?” he pretends not to know, even if the triplets keep on repeating the old news every time they see him.

“Yes, it’s a girl,” Mia giggles, climbing in his lap. Emma abandons her toys and gets on the couch, starting to play with Jonny’s hair. “Daddy says he’ll have another pretty doll added to his collection,” she continues to stoke Frosts’ hair and the other two agree.

“U-hum, Daddy said she’ll be cute like us,” Mia’s eyes get big with anticipation. “I can’t wait to see her; I’ll take care of my little sister,” she decides.

“That’s great!” Jonny praises, helping Mia mount his other knee. “You will be an awesome babysitter.”

“No, I’ll take care of her!” Emma sulks while Evie whimpers, unhappy:

“No, I will!”

The inevitable bickering begins while Frost attempts to calm down the spirited little girls.

“I’m telling mommy,” Mia pushes Evie’s head.

“I’m telling daddy!” she fights back, trying to slap her sister.

“I’m telling both!” Emma pouts and you enter the living room, followed by The Joker.

“Hey, what’s going on? Why are you shouting?” you crinkle your nose and the siblings abandon their current preoccupation and run to both parents, explaining why they should take of the little one after she’s born.

“You can all take care of her, OK?” J replies, grumpy from the terrible headache he woke up with this morning. He took some pills to help out with that but no relief so far. Of course the migraine is a side effect due to all the medications he’s on; never ending issues: one thing leading to another.

There’s protesting, ponytails are being pulled, plus some more pushing around and eventually the turmoil fades once everybody steps in the elevator. The excitement of playing in the sand makes things better no matter what.

*************

The girls are having fun on the beach and you joined your boyfriend on the terrace, relaxing in the huge hammock under the canopy. His head is resting in your lap, waiting for the remedy to work: you had to give him an extra dose for the migraine since the pain didn’t go away with the usual fix.

“How come there’s only one Princess in here?” J grumbles, caressing your tummy; not too big for now since you are just 5 months pregnant.

“I don’t know, but it’s exciting, isn’t it?” you cheerfully ask, knowing he’s in a bad mood.

“Yeah, it is, but only one?! I think I’m losing my touch…” he sighs and it makes you laugh:

“I doubt that’s the reason.”

He’s still frowning so you want to distract him somehow.

“You know what J ?”

“What?”

“I wanted to ask you to marry me so many times,” you smile, confessing to the actual truth.

“Why didn’t you?” The Joker looks at you, suddenly interested at your revelation.

“Well, I figured that if you wanted to marry me, you would have asked.”

“True,” he admits and you punch his shoulder.

“Not the answer I was expecting, can’t you be sweet for once?!”

“I’m always sweet; the sweetest guy ever!”

“No… you’re not,” you take a deep breath and he agrees:

“Yeah…I’m not…”

You watch the children playing for a little bit and he realizes you’re still upset.

“Pumpkin?”

“Yes?” you twirl the green strands of hair around your fingers, absent minded.

“After I die and I get to the gates of hell, you know what I’m gonna say?”

You immediately want to protest against his statement but J continues.

“I’ll tell them my woman did a lot of bad things, but she should go to a better place: she put up with me and had my children so she shouldn’t follow me there. Umm…why are you crying? It’s supposed to make you laugh,” The Joker bites on his lip, confused, oblivious at your emotions. “Is it the hormones?”

“N-no…” you sniffle, struggling to bend over to kiss his forehead. “This is probably the sweetest thing that ever came out of your mouth.”

“Told you I’m a sweet guy, “ J smirks, victorious. “Are you gonna miss me?” he kisses your wrist and it makes you sadder.

“Not even for a second,” the shaky voice announces.

“Good, you shouldn’t,” he mumbles, closing his eyes and enjoying the cool breeze on his face. “But at least you’ll be left behind with my heart. Umm…can you stop crying? I’m referring to the tattoo, Kitten, all right?” J slides up your body, getting comfortable by your side. “Why are you so hormonal?” he glances at the design he was referring to, pretending not to understand your feelings.

The Joker has playing cards symbols tattooed on his fingers: spades, diamonds and clubs, but he’s missing the heart—you are the one that has the missing symbol inked on your skin, right on top of where your heart is, with the writing under it: “Mister J’s.”

“You always misunderstand what I’m saying, Y/N,” he grumbles, kind of uneasy at your tears. “Cut it out…” but his threat doesn’t even sound harsh. “What am I going to do with you, hm?… “ he wonders and wipes your cheeks which prompts more tears coming out and you cuddling to his chest.

“If you leave me I’ll never talk to you again,” the rant starts without any warning.

“Oh my God, you promise?” and you giggle through tears while the top of your head is getting covered in soft kisses. “Hey,” he gets your attention, “I don’t want you to sleep with anybody else after I die; I really think you should consider becoming a nun.”

You elbow him, laughing and crying in the same time:

“You’re an idiot,” you kiss him and J has some words for you:

“Nobody calls me that, Pumpkin! Except Godzilla,” he’s fast to add, knowing how much you hate the nickname. “Not a single soul dares fucking with the big creature.”

“Such a horrible man,” you whimper, distracted by his antiques.

“Thank you, I was hoping you’ll notice,” and he’s so satisfied with himself that he finally realizes the headache is gone. “Wanna make out?” the proposition follows and it earns criticism.

“I thought we already kind of were…”

“I was working on it, you just keep on crying! But anyway, fair warning: I don’t think I can do more than that. To my eternal shame, I’m pretty drained from my meds and I doubt more will happen,” he snarls in your ear, self-conscious about the problem.

“I just want to kiss you and hold you, honey,” you imitate his voice and J rolls his eyes and yanks at your almost inexistent waist.

“Are you using my own line?! It’s mine, find your own! And I wouldn’t be so quick to mock: you fell for it every single time; that’s how we got the kids, “ J snickers, reminding you about the truth. “Sooo easy to trick,” he keeps on going, excited he can tease.

“Are you going to talk all day ?!” you inquire because he won’t shut up.

“I can talk for weeks,” the cocky remark bluntly comes to an end when The Joker gulps, his fingers clinging to your dress. “Shit…muscle spasms,” he groans, the pain taking over.

“Hold on!” you jump off the hammock, running inside for the treatment.

“You’re pretty fast for a pregnant woman!” J yells, trying to contain the agonizing ache taking over every inch of his being. You get back to him in a flash, worried about his condition.

“Here, take the pills,” you hand him over 3 of them with a glass of water, hoping they will work soon. J pulls you back next to him; it makes him feel better. He shivers under the pressure of his muscles involuntary contracting and digs his fingers in your back. It hurts so badly because he doesn’t realize how strong his hold is but you don’t make a sound. You’ll probably end up with bruises again, yet The Joker doesn’t do it intentionally.

His shrieky breath worries you even if this happens often.

“Do you want to go inside? It’s getting dark out here. The kids played all day, time to eat and get them ready for bed. You think you can move?”

“No, not yet,” J admits, moaning from discomfort as soon as he attempts to lift his head up.

“That’s ok, we’ll wait for a little bit then,” and you peck his temple, wishing you could take the pain away.

“What are you still doing here?” he interrupts, struggling to speak.

“Well, I’m not going inside either until you can move.”

“No, why are you still here?”

You faked not understanding what he meant but now you can’t go around the answer.

“Where else I am supposed to be? I belong here.”

***************

The triplets whined until they were allowed to sleep in the master bedroom with you two. They all passed out in a matter of minutes, the small bodies curled up against yours. J is better because the meds worked, but he wasn’t able to eat anything and you hate it: he is skinnier as it is, doesn’t need to lose more weight.

“Read to me, Princess,” he stretches and repositions himself closer to you, this way he can play with your long hair.

“Let’s see what we have here,” you reach for the two books on the night stand. “We have Shelley and his love poems plus Poe and his morbid stuff,” you whisper since the girls are asleep.

“Morbid!” J is quick to choose.

“We’ll go with love,” you wink and he puffs, annoyed:

“Yuck!”

You ignore him and search for some of your favorites when he unexpectedly turns your face towards him. The Joker stares at you, debating on what he is about to utter.

“I have a list… a secret list in my mind with people I don’t hate…”

“You do?” you smile, shifting his way since it seems important; you can tell.

“Yes, and…umm… stop smiling! You and the girls didn’t make the cut!” J puckers his lips, irritated at his own disclosure.

“Oohh, that’s sad… Who’s on the list then?” you nuzzle in his neck, kissing it.

“Just Godzilla and some loud brats,” he spits out in a hurry and you giggle.

“Do they have names?” you curiously check.

“No, no names…”

“Lucky them,” you exhale, cupping his face. “Too bad me and our children are not on the list.”

J doesn’t reply and you let go, returning to your book and starting to read with such a soothing voice he relaxes right away. By the fourth poem he’s out cold and you spend another hour gazing at him, thinking how much you wish he could live forever.

***************

“Morning, baby,” you yawn and touch his shoulder. “The girls have been up for a while, I’ll make coffee and breakfast should arrive soon. OK?… … …Hey, did you hear me?” you ask, panicking when he doesn’t open his eyes after you shake him. “Baby, wake up!”

But he didn’t wake up, not even after you gave him the emergency adrenaline shot. His doctors arrived at your hideout in a hurry, confirming your worst fear: The Joker slipped into a coma and there is no way to know if/when he will come out of it. The news broke your heart and it was very difficult to explain to the triplets:

“Daddy…won’t wake up anymore,” and you try so hard not to cry. “But he might at one point and in the meantime we’ll pretend he’s awake and continue to speak to him, allright?”

The kids looked at each other, then at you, then at him, not comprehending the severity of what was announced to them.

“Is daddy very tired?” Evie asks, puzzled.

“Yes, honey, he is, that’s why he’s resting,” you sadly smile, checking his IV line. Since J can’t take oral medications anymore, everything was converted to liquids, including the nutrients he needs. You decided to stay at the beach because he loves the ocean and maybe hearing the waves crashing on the beach might help.

“What is this?” Emma walks in the front of the heart monitor that keeps on beeping, which prompts the other two siblings to do the same.

“That’s daddy’s heart,” you explain so they can understand.

“Waaahhh,” Mia is amazed and gets on her toes to see better. She kisses the screen, snickering, followed by her sisters.

Such innocence, you think, wiping a rebel tear.

“Who wants to give daddy a massage?” the offer gets their attention and they all jump on the bed, fighting.

“Me!”

“No, me!”

“Your nurses will oblige your every whim,” you peck his forehead. “If they are too loud, you just have to wake up and say so… … …No? Well then, I guess you’ll have to deal with your daughters chewing your ears off. Enjoy!”

– “Oh my God, she’s kicking so hard! I think she may have a party going on in here,” you keep his right hand on your bump since the other one is hooked to the IV pole. “I am pretty big now, almost there with the pregnancy. You’re missing on the fun…” you keep on yapping like you always do. Sometimes you even answer for him.

“Don’t you wanna ask me if I’m auditioning for Godzilla’s part in the next movie?…No…? It’s your opportunity to tease me again, I know you want to…Wow, that’s a first! How come you’re so mellow? Rawwrrr!” you roar, even if you know it’s no use. “Hey, that was pretty funny, you can at least laugh… Uhhhh…” you give up, glaring at the spinning fan on the ceiling. “You’ve been like this for almost 4 months, aren’t’ you bored? You get bored easily… … … Anyway, I’m gonna read you something now. Morbid or love?”

After no reaction from his side, you decide.

“We’ll go with morbid, your favorite. Stephen King or Poe?… … … Poe you say? Your wish is my command,” and you start reading to him, being so tired you can barely see the words.

– “I think I’ll have to find me another boyfriend,” you huff, injecting his weekly shot in his arm. “I am not becoming a nun so I will have to sleep with somebody else. If you don’t agree, you just have to wake up and say so… … … No? I thought you cared. Oh, well, your loss,” and then the remorse takes over.

“I’m not going to find another boyfriend, ok? You’re lucky I like you…” and looking at his face makes you aware of how much you miss him. “If you want to let go…you can…” you bite your cheek, sniffling but you change your mind in an instant. “If you dare doing this to me and the girls, I’ll hate you forever! I’m not joking!!” 

– You are so worn out you fell asleep at the dinner table. Your people brought over food and you took a few bites, then just dozed off. The girls didn’t notice but Frost did since he was there. He had to carry you in the bedroom and tucked you in. That’s when he decided he should speak up. The next day you heard about it:

“Y/N, you need help.”

“With what?”

“You’re exhausted: you’ll have your baby soon, you’re taking care of the girls and Mister J. There are so many of us, we can help you.”

“This is my family, my responsibility, got it?” you raise your voice, irked.

“I wasn’t suggesting otherwise,” Jonny pacifies your outburst. “But if you get sick, Mister J will kill us all.”

You bite on your nails and he has a suggestion:

“Would you prefer…just me to help with Mister J?”

You softly sigh, indirectly answering his question:

“It’s…it’s hard for me to turn him.”

“I can do that,” he nods and you agree by not replying.

**************

“Here’s your new Princess,” you place the newborn on his chest, wrapping his arm around her and holding it in place since he can’t do it himself. “ She is absolutely adorable, don’t you want to see her?… … … Open your eyes and look at your daughter…No? Hm, that’s pretty heartless, even for you. Oh, wait, never mind, I have your heart, I forgot,” you look down the cleavage at your tattoo. “Still, this is no excuse…I decided on the name Amelia and we can go with Amy from there. If you don’t like the name, all you have to do is wake up and tell me so… … Going once, going twice….Amelia it is then,” you kiss the little head then his lips.

– The triplets are mesmerized by the new addition to the family. They all want to hold her and be her favorite. They get in such fights and it drives you nuts, but in a good way.

“This is my sister!” Evie struggles to get in front of the line formed around the crib. (The crib is in the master bedroom because you want The Joker to hear his little girl.)

“No, she’s mine!” Mia slaps Evie’s hand, trying to climb inside.

“No-oooo, Amelia’s mine!” Emma takes over and the newborn fusses from the ruckus.

“Ssssttt, don’t wake her up!” you admonish the triplets and they listen, disappointed they can’t play with their new favorite toy.

– When Amy cries at night, you gently kick J.

“It’s your turn, go!… … Don’t try to get out of it!… No?… You owe me big!” and you get out of bed, dragging your feet on the floor, wishing you could nap more than 2 hours at a time. “Your turn to be on diaper duty, Mister King of Gotham,” you point out, upset. “Don’t think I don’t know you are doing this on purpose to skip your turn! So rude…” you mutter, actually being upset because the new meds J is on don’t do too much so far and he’s still in a coma. Very frustrating. There is no cure for his disease, but at least you want him awake.

“You know what? I’m leaving you! I’m taking Amelia and the triplets and we’re out of here! See how you like to be alone!” you threaten, mad at everything, finishing up your task. You suddenly realize the heart monitor intensified its beeping and you freeze. You place her back in the crib and rush to his side. His chest is going up and down fast and you hold his hand, distressed.

“Did you hear me?… Baby, did you hear me?… We’re not leaving, I was just saying! Calm down, we’re not going anywhere…” you start kissing his face all over. It takes about 5 more minutes before the heartbeat goes back to normal.

The doctors couldn’t guarantee that his reaction was due to your ultimatum but they said it’s not impossible. That was the first feedback you ever got since the morning he didn’t wake up anymore.

– You slide the wedding band on his ring finger, taking advantage of the state he’s in and you’re not even sorry.

“There, if you don’t want it, have the courage to say it to my face. If you don’t protest, I am thinking that you want it…Yes?… Well, then, you can keep it. Looks sexy on you, I must state the obvious here. … … Did you add Amelia to that list of yours? You should…unless she won’t make the cut either…I wish you would open your eyes to see how cute she is. Don’t you miss all of us? I assume you do but you are too stubborn to do something about it…” and you continue, briefing The Joker about the plans you’ve been working on for a while. “Tonight we raid “Excell” laboratories, they are experimenting on a medication I want for you… But the catalyst that it needs to be combined with it’s made in Japan; we’ll definitely get that one too as soon as possible. Don’t worry about a thing, I told you: you will live forever. Babysit the girls, ok? You’ll have help from our men, just in case…“

– Your henchmen are scattered all over the building, scavenging everything they can get their hands on. You can’t be in there for too long; even if you took care of the alarm, you can’t risk lingering in the medical facility.

You broke into the lab alone and found what you needed; just stashed the vials in a suitcase when you realize you are being watched from the far corner of the room.

“Of course you would show up, you always know, don’t you?” you back out, pointing your gun at The Batman. He doesn’t say a word, but takes a few steps towards you.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” and that crazy grin on your face makes him halt. “We are getting out of here and I am taking this with me ! Don’t even dream about being a hero tonight!”

Suddenly, explosions are heard in the distance, and they are coming closer and closer until a big detonation shakes the building, making the windows crack.

“That was close,” you chuckle. “Across the street to be precise.”

Alarms start blaring in the background, turmoil and chaos fastly increasing on the streets.

“All the places were empty, consider it… a professional courtesy,” you growl, backing out more. “The next ones won’t be, I made sure of that. Do you want your precious Gotham citizens to die? If we don’t leave safe and unharmed, it all goes to shit!!!”

That mask hides any trace of emotion he might have but the distorted voice echoes in the lab.

“What you have it’s useless without the catalyst. Why bother?”

“I’ll get it somehow! Now stay there and don’t move or we blow up more!”

You exit the room, not turning your back on The Batman until he is out of sight.

**************

A week passed by and the medication from Japan that needs to be combined with what you stole from “Excell” laboratories is still not in your possession. You are running out of patience.

“Y/N, our courier from East Gotham dropped this box about an hour ago. It has your name on it; were you waiting for a shipment?”

“No,” you signal him to come on the porch. Amelia is in a small crib outside, sleeping, and the girls are having fun digging a big hole in the sand. “What is this?”

“Not sure, but he said he was given to him by our West Gotham courier.”

“Weird, I wonder what…” and your heart stops when you open the sealed box and see the small typed note on top of a metal container. “Consider it a professional courtesy.”

***************

J blinks a few times, wincing in pain, his mind cloudy and confused. He has no idea what’s going on and after being in a coma for months, he’s incapable of speaking or moving too much. He feels the weight on his chest and barely manages to look down, noticing his three month old daughter sleeping on him, sucking on her thumb. The Joker struggles to turn his head to his right to see you are sleeping also, still holding the book you read to him tonight, completely passed out with the triplets snuggled to your body.

His eyelids are so heavy that he gives in, having one single thought in mind before dozing off with the rest of his family:

I think I’m gonna live forever…


End file.
